Being respected over being liked
You know that feeling when you're about to speak up in a meeting, but you hold back? That little voice in your head warns, "They might not like you if you disagree." It's a familiar struggle, isn't it?
I've been there. For years, I bent over backwards trying to please everyone. I'd nod along with ideas I didn't believe in, laugh at jokes that made me cringe. All to be the "nice guy" everyone liked.
But here's the thing - being liked isn't the same as being respected. And chasing likability often comes at the cost of your integrity.
I learned this the hard way when a project I was leading went south. I'd been so focused on keeping everyone happy that I didn't address issues head-on. In trying to be liked, I'd failed to be effective.
That was a wake-up call. I realized that true respect comes from being authentic, even when it's uncomfortable. It's about standing by your principles, speaking your truth, and following through on your commitments.
Does this mean you should be abrasive or disregard others' feelings? Of course not. It's about finding that balance between kindness and assertiveness.
Shifting from seeking approval to earning respect isn't easy. It means sometimes being the dissenting voice in the room. It means having tough conversations and setting clear boundaries. But it also means sleeping better at night, knowing you've been true to yourself.
Remember, people might like you for your agreeableness, but they'll respect you for your integrity. And in the long run, that respect will take you much further than fleeting popularity ever could.
So next time you're tempted to stay silent to keep the peace, ask yourself: What would the version of me I respect most do in this situation? Then do that. It might not make you the most popular person in the room, but it will make you someone others can count on and admire.
And isn't that worth more than a few extra likes?